roller-coaster

This video clip from one of my favorite movies, "Parenthood", resonates strongly with me right now.  I, too, find myself on a roller-coaster--one that is full of highs and lows, terrifying speeds, mind-bending loops, anxiety-inducing ascents to frightening new heights, following by thrilling drops that take my breath away.  The roller-coaster is scary and exciting and sometimes I want it to slow down, but it seems to just take me along with it, whether I think I'm ready for the terrain ahead or not.  So I'm trying to throw my arms up in the air and enjoy the thrilling ride...

As I watched this video clip, I found myself wondering who I am in this scene. I think I tend to be in constant flux between Gil Buckman's (Steve Martin) obsessive-compulsive, control-freak nature, and his wife Karen Buckman's more laid back, take-it-as-it comes approach. I wish I could say that I'm cool with how messy life is, but there is more Gil Buckman in me than I'd like to admit.      

Who are you in this scene? Do you like the roller-coaster or the merry-go-round better?

Six Years

This past weekend Chris and I celebrated six years of marriage.  Six years...it doesn't sound like a very long time, but yesterday, as I sat down to look back through old pictures while the girls were napping, it felt like we've covered a lot of ground, physically and emotionally, in those years (not to mention a lot of hairstyles).  It felt like much, much longer than six years as I looked back on how we've grown and changed, both together and as individuals.  

It's amazing how images of past memories and experiences can provoke so much emotion--how they can conjure how you felt in that season of life, in that very moment the photo was taken.   

Each photo holds a story of its own, and when these photos are strung together, they tell a bigger story...our story...a story that is still being written by an extraordinary Author.  While our story so far is much deeper than a blog post can reflect, I still wanted to map out a little chronology of life with my main man as we celebrate six years together as husband and wife...

[warning: this is long.]

    

May 2004; a deserted alcove of Catalina Island

Just three weeks after Chris and I met, he found out he was to be deployed to Iraq.  We had six weeks before he left.  This time line expedited our relationship, as we wanted to spend as much time together as possible before he left.  Chris invited me to go back home with him to southern California so I could meet his family.  He planned for us to sail out to Catalina Island and spend a few days there.  Chris was the captain of this small sailboat and I was the (extremely seasick) passenger.  Chris showed me his love for sailing and the ocean and shared with me some of the things he enjoys most in life.  We always say that Catalina is where we fell in love. 

Before heading back to San Antonio, TX, where we lived at the time, Chris introduced me to the infamous "In-N-Out" Burger.  I had never heard of In-N-Out before that day, but it lived up to its reputation.  I love this photo.

After this In-N-Out photo, we don't have any pictures together until September of 2004, as Chris was in Iraq.  It was a hard deployment...but we made up for lost time when he returned home.

October 2004; Oak Island, North Carolina

One month after Chris got back from the desert, I took him home to meet my dad and mom for the first time.  It was on this trip that Chris asked my dad for my hand in marriage.  And one month later, we were in NYC...  

where Chris proposed to me, November 13th, 2004.  Chris planned an elaborate, romantic, surprise weekend to NYC.  He told me it was a "birthday trip," but I was onto his game.

And a few weeks later, we were suddenly in New Orleans for Thanksgiving with Chris's mom's dear friend, Nancy, who spoiled us rotten!  We ate a lot of beignets and listened to some amazing jazz.

December 2004

A few weeks after that we were in Lake Tahoe so I could introduce Chris to my dear friends, Jad and Tiff.  Here we are on the frozen lake.

February 19th, 2005.

Our wedding day.

Six years ago.

Honeymoon in Figi! Chris pulled another quick one on me...he told me we were going to Cabo, Mexico.  I found out we were actually going to Figi just five minutes before boarding the plane.

 April 2005.

Our one-year dating anniversary (what can I say...we were newlyweds...we still celebrated things like that). 

Chris surprised me with these flowers at work--I was working nightshift at the time.  When I look at this photo, I remember that Chris and I had just been in a massive fight--the kind that newlyweds have in the first year of marriage, when the wedding and honeymoon are suddenly over and you've come back down to reality and are left to navigate the art of learning to live with each other.  These flowers were a peace offering.  

June 2005.  

Chris was finishing up his duties as a flight surgeon and gearing up to start his intense Ophthalmology residency, which consumed the following three years.  The days of a low-key 8am-4pm work schedule would be long gone...and photos of us together dropped off for a while.

[Please note: I did NOT have a perm in these photos...my hair used to be very curly...until pregnancy.]

February 19th, 2006.

One year wedding anniversary.  

We ate our left-over wedding cake and popped a bottle of Veuve Clicquot, the same champagne we had at our wedding.

August 2006; Black Point Inn, Maine.

Chris was in Maine for the entire summer for an Ophthalmology course, and I got ten days of leave to come see him.  I was about 13 weeks pregnant with Tess and horribly nauseous!

Another shot of us in Maine--Acadia National Park

Fast forward to Christmas of 2006.

Seven months preggo with Tess.

February 19th, 2007.

Our two year wedding anniversary.

The day we brought our first-born Tess home!

This anniversary will always be so special to us.
I love our expressions in this photo--a mixture of excited, scared, and what the heck are we doing?

Our first dinner out after Tess was born--at our FAVORITE sushi place in San Antonio...good ol' Sushi Zushi.  We were amazed at how portable newborn babies are.  My first Cosmo in nine months. Holla!

spring/summer 2007

Our first big date night out without Tess.

Thanks Tia!

January 2008.

The beginning of what would be a very hard year.

This is closest picture I have to our third anniversary, which was one month later.  That anniversary went undocumented, which seems characteristic of what happens to chunks of your relationship once you have kids.  Chris was in Honduras during our anniversary and the following months were crazy, as Chris was studying for his residency board exam and we were getting our house ready to put on the market.

Easter Sunday, 2008.

Celebrated with the Johnson family!

June 2008.

The Eye Ball. 

(aka Chris's graduation from residency!) 

Tess and I had already moved up to Salt Lake City, UT, where Chris was to do his cornea fellowship training.  I flew back down to TX for the graduation.
(Thx Kells!)

December 2008.

Solitude Ski Resort, UT.

Our favorite getaway and respite during a hard year.

I made the transition from skiing to snowboarding after a lot of coaxing from Chris, Mr. Surfer-Snowboarder himself.  It took all season, but I finally caught on!

 Beers at The Porcupine--our favorite hangout in Utah after a day on the slopes!  My usual order: a pint of Polygamy Porter.

 May 2009.

Chris graduates from his fellowship in Cornea/Refractive Surgery!

This was the dinner to honor the residents and fellows at the University of Utah.  I was first-trimester preggo with Lucy and sick as a dog...couldn't even touch my chicken that night.

July 2009.

Lake Berryessa, California.

We'd just moved from Utah to California and Chris had some time off before starting to work as a staff Ophthalmologist at Travis AFB.  On a whim, we decided to rent a little pontoon boat and spend the day on the lake.

summer 2009.

Coldplay concert.

Holla!

Fast forward a few months to November 2009.

We'd just moved into our new house and I was 8 months preggo with Lulu. Chris's work colleagues threw us a surprise baby shower!

Heavenly Ski Resort; Lake Tahoe

February 19th, 2010.

Celebrating five years of marriage.

Spring 2010, Laguna Beach, CA.

We went down to SoCal last minute when we found out Chris was to be deployed to Afghanistan in May.  This was our last big dinner out as a couple before he left.

April 2010.  

Coffee at Bouchon Bakery in Napa, one of my favorite places in the whole world!  We went up to Napa for the day with my parents, who came out to Cali to see Chris off before he left for Bagram.

No more photos of Chris and I together in the summer months that followed.  It was a long, hot, dry summer.  A horrible year for the Napa vineyards.  A  challenging, arduous, and life-changing time for me, which ironically, has yielded a lot of fruit in our lives.

In late August 2010, Chris came home and we went away for a secret "honeymoon"...

French 75 Bistro, Laguna Beach, CA

September 2010

We continued our celebration of Chris's homecoming from Afghanistan into the fall, when my dad came out and took us to Joseph Phelps vineyard for a wine-tasting.

November 2010.

When Chris was gone for the summer, I knew I wanted to get some photos taken of us when he got home.  

Thanks Nic!

February 20, 2011.

And here we are, finally caught up to the present.

This shot was taken last night at Bouchon restaurant in Napa, where we celebrated six years of marriage.

CHEERS, MY TOPHER JOHN.

I LOVE YOU MORE THAN EVER.

I LOVE OUR STORY.

THE BEST IS YET TO COME.

Tess = 4

[Disclaimer: the following post contains levels of parental pride and obsession with their offspring that might be nauseating to the general public]

At this time, four years ago, I was in labor.  I was thanking God for epidurals.  I was just a couple of hours away from delivering my precious first born daughter, Tessa Gwen.  She popped out of me (with the excruciating help of a massive foley catheter balloon and a substantial pitocin drip) at about 6:30pm on February 17th, 2007. 

    

8 lbs 3oz; 21 inches.  I remember staring at her from across the delivery room as she lay on the scale.  It's a strange thing, to see your child for the very first time.  Surreal, awestruck, hard to capture in a word.  I saw her and my first thought was that she looked like me.  All the details and preoccupations that had flooded my mind during my pregnancy suddenly vanished when she made her grand debut, when I first saw her precious face.

The years have flown by and now she is four--a big girl.  Although, it hasn't always gone quickly--on some days, life seemed to float by at a snail's pace--but now she's four, and I'm suddenly wondering where the time went.  That day in the delivery room seems like another lifetime.  I imagine this sensation will only become more and more pronounced as the years roll on.

Here is a photo tribute to my Tessa girl--some of my favorite photos taken of her over the past four years...

About six months old.

Chillin' with momma on a hot Texas summer afternoon.

Pumpkin girl is 8 months old here--it was her first visit to Bucky & Nonni's house--in late October, when the leaves were starting to fall in North Carolina.

Fast forward a several months later to February--Tessa's FIRST birthday.  She puts a hurtin' on some strawberry cake.

Tess is about 18 months here.  We'd moved from San Antonio to Salt Lake City.  Here she is, modeling the infamous red shoes that Nonni bought her that summer.  I can't wait until Lucy fits into these kicks!

Our lil' monkey romping around at Gymboree.

Modeling a new outfit her Auntie Susie brought back from China.  Little did we know then that she'll have a little brother from China some day.

Hey...has anyone seen my blue Sharpie?

Toddler Tess is TWO!

Fast forward a few months to summer of 2009.  Tess is two and a half, veggin' out and eating popcorn.  We'd just moved (again)--this time to California, and we were renting a small apartment until we could move into our house.

Ocean Beach, San Francisco--Tessa's first trip to the Pacific.  It was cool and overcast on that July afternoon, but it didn't stop Tess from getting in the water!

A few months later...an afternoon outing to Baskin Robbins after preschool.

And soon enough...Tess turns THREE!

And her favorite new hobby is dressing up like a beautiful princess.

And she becomes a BIG sister!!!

She enjoys more time on the Pacific Coast--Capistrano Beach--in April of 2010.  This trip was a bit solemn, as we prepared for Chris to leave for Afghanistan (aka "Ganistamp" in Tess language).  Tess had no idea what was about to hit...how much she'd miss her daddy in the months to come.  

She grows even bigger during those long summer months.

And becomes even more beautiful.

And now, it's the morning of February 17th, 2011, and she is FOUR!  She blows out her candles and enjoys a big pancake breakfast in her new Snow White ensemble from Auntie Susie.  

And I am ecstatic that she is FOUR today...not just because I love watching her grow and mature, but because this means that she isn't THREE anymore.  Three was hard...very hard.  I've determined that whoever coined the term "terrible two's" had obviously not yet experienced three.

  

The sweet birthday girl gets to enjoy strawberry cupcakes at school today with her classmates!  

And Daddy brings home a surprise bouquet of princess balloons for the birthday girl!

...and a "princess party" is going down this Saturday for the big girl!

We love you dear Tess. Your name means "harvester," and you have harvested much life for us. We love your inquisitive spirit, determination, creativity, imagination, whimsy, warmth, and sweet disposition. You have radically changed our lives for the better.    You are a precious gift from God.  Here's to FOUR awesome, intense, and unforgettable years with you, and Lord willing, many more to come.