recovery

The day after we received our referral for Ren, I decided to dig up the flower pots in our yard.  I'd had a strong urge to do it for weeks, even though some of the flowers were still holding on. I wanted a clean slate. I wanted to till the dry soil with my hands.  I wanted the dirt bare and able to breath.  So I set out with my little hand shovel.

Faith, hope -- a melody with no words

Is making its way through these dark times

Echoes the sound that you heard

I cleared away the dried fall leaves and dug up my dead basil and oregano plants. I pulled up withered clumps of Queen Anne's lace, which I planted last spring. The soil was dry and caked at the surface.  I chopped through it with my shovel, digging up the cool, moist dirt from the bottom, mixing it with the rest.  

No one told you that faith would come easy

No one promised the way would be clear

Turn the ground in the fields of your story

While you're sowing the seed of your tears

It was a balmy, clear winter day.  The trees were stunning in their barrenness.  I loved the simplicity of their naked, silver limbs against the backdrop of the bright blue sky.

Under skies wide and blue as the ocean

Make your peace with your own history

So much more than the sum of your longings

Are the good and the bad - all this beauty and tragedy

The pots are still bare and I don't know that I'll fill them with new flowers in the spring. My hands must plant and nurture life in other ways. The trees are still bare as well, but the delicate cherry blossom buds are already forming on the gangly branches.  Spring is coming.  It is coming quickly.

Put your sorrows in the ground

All the broken pieces wrapped up in shadows of places and people you've known

Weeping shapes and sounds all strung together like a crown

Lead a heart out of stone with a melody making you new

** lyrics by Jeremy Casella