I ordered some prints of Ren last week. This one came out the best, so now I get to stare at my sweet boy while I work at my desk.
Still no LOC. We continue to pray. Meanwhile, the days tick by, one by one. I finally got in touch with the home study agency in VA and found out what would be entailed in "updating" our home study. As it turns out, update is really just a nice word for REDO. The lady I spoke with talked about getting all of our background checks re-done, our medical appointments re-done, as well as the fees involved in everything.
Chris and I just spoke with Tiffany about the implications of moving before we get Ren and thus having to redo our home study. We are looking at a seven month delay, at least. SEVEN MONTHS, starting this summer, which means we might not get him until this winter. Seven more months that Ren would be living in an orphanage. All the paperwork I've dedicated the past year to doing would be suddenly undone. Essentially, we would be starting from scratch.
I'm not going to lie. The thought of all of that feels crushing. It's like being in the third trimester of pregnancy, only to be told that the clock is winding back to the first trimester (and all of the fatigue, morning sickness, and constipation that comes with it), except you'll still be as big as you are in the third trimester. The worst of both worlds. That's the best analogy I can think of.
So, we are going to do everything we can to stay in CA as long as possible, to ensure that our son is in our arms by this summer. We have emailed our future tenants, asking if they could possibly move in a month or two later than planned. We are praying that's an option for them.
This process never seizes to amaze me. Stressful times...and ample opportunities to place this whole thing back into God's hands...because I try to take it into mine hundreds of times everyday.
The longer the wait...the greater the ache. Lately it's felt unbearable.
Today I'm thankful for the bright spring sunshine, warm temperatures, music, coffee, brownies, and friendship, which always seem to soothe the ache. I was going to make some biscotti today because I knew it'd make me feel better, but I'm too tired. Maybe tomorrow...
In the meantime...reciting this in my head...
"Rest in the Lord, and wait patiently for Him." --Ps 37:7
So good...and so hard.
I've had to practice that verse many a times in my life. It's hard. Praying for you to stay strong. Love you Kurz family!!!
ReplyDeleteLib, its already been such a long, long road for you. *sigh*
ReplyDeleteI'm praying grace and strength for you, friend.
Other words fail.
I love you, sister.
So sorry girl. We continue to pray. These are when all those, "Why?" questions seem to arise. Why is it that God allowed you to be matched with this little boy when the road is going to be so much longer for the both of you? It doesn't make sense. But yet we trust that there is a reason and a plan. Even if we won't know what it is this side of heaven. Praying for God's mighty hand to lead the way and that you would feel His peace in the midst of all of this.
ReplyDelete