first things first

I'm trying something new on this blog.  Trying to write in the moment, more frequently, without preconceptions.  Little snap shots of my thoughts and my day.  It might be less polished, but I am hoping it gets me writing more frequently.  My mind tends to feel like an inflated ballon on the cusp of popping, but I also feel like I can't vent the air out until all the molecules are arranged in a neatly packaged format.  The problem with this is that the ballon just keeps getting fuller and fuller, because the thought of bringing order to chaos makes me want to abandon the whole thing.  So, if my posts feel a little more random, or perhaps even sloppy, this might be why.

I woke up this morning feeling frazzled.  I've been out of school for almost a week now, and as the days have worn on, I've become more and more aware of the overwhelming backlog of housekeeping issues to tend to. Take the car to the mechanic. Get the dog more flea medicine. Make doctors and dentist appointments. Start looking for a house in VA Beach. Respond to emails that have been sitting in my inbox for over a month.

Every corner of my home contains a pile of black dog hair mixed with dust.  The toilets are growing black, moldy rings. I cleaned out my desk this morning, an unintended use of my time that came about after trying to organize our ever-amassing heap of adoption paper work. I came across Dell and Compaq user manuals from my old laptops, three empty iPhone boxes (yes, I've drowned two of them already!), old checkbooks, old receipts, etc, etc, etc..  Trash, trash, trash.

We accumulate. We acquire. The chaos is ever present.  The backlog of things to do is never done.  There's always room for more cleaning, more organization, more laundry, more, more, more.  And our hearts are tired and frustrated. Or, at least mine is.

Right now I sit on the leather sofa in our family room.  I've just downed a cup of  hot coffee.  It's never tasted so good.  I drank it fast. My body is tired from a full yet satisfying week. I got some things done.  Other things, I didn't.  As I drank my coffee, I pulled out my reading for today. The verses are from Luke--

"Martha, Martha, you are worried and troubled about many things.  But one thing is needed, and Mary has chosen that good part, which will not be taken away from her."  10:41-42

One thing is needed.  

Time with Jesus.

The other night, as Chris was falling asleep, I asked him,

"Hey babe, what do you think is the meaning of life?"

Poor guy...he kindly asked if we could have the conversation in the morning.

I said, "Well, I just think that the whole meaning of life is to be with God.  That's it.  Just being with Him, spending time with Him.  I think it really is that simple."

Chaos swirls around me and a long list of unknowns awaits me in the future, but right here, right now, it's all okay.  Spending time with Him sharpens my focus, gives my frazzled mind rest, and restores my energy.

I also read this today, which is just so awesome, I wanted to share it...

"Because I am omnipotent, I am able to bend time and events in your favor.  You will find that you can accomplish more in less time, after you have given yourself to Me in rich communion.  Also, as you align yourself with My perspective, you can sort out what is important and what is not."  --from Jesus Calling

First things first, right?

Gotta run.  I'm off to the girls' schools to gorge on pink frosting and sprinkles...Valentines Day parties!