red and blue

I bought Ren his first two outfits yesterday.  I have to admit, I felt like a bit of an impostor in the boys' section of the store.  My life has been colored in all shades of pink and purple over the past five years.  Red and blue still feel like they belong in someone else's crayon box.

Despite the unfamiliarity, I was so excited.  We got our "pre-approval" from China several weeks ago, which basically means that they've given us the green light to adopt this specific boy, our Ren boy.  This also means that we are able to request updates on him and send him care packages.

So, I've got two outfits so far, and I'm adding a few more things to his first package.  It's strange buying clothes for your son and not being sure what size he wears.  Parenthood, in all of its brands and variations, never seizes to amaze me.  I decided to get 24-month outfits, which will give him a little room to grow.  I also plan on printing out some family photos and putting them in a little photo book for him, so hopefully he can start looking at our crazy white faces before we come get him.

Last night, Chris came into our bedroom and told me my nightstand is looking like a busy disaster.  I said, "Yep, well, it reflects my inner world."  Actually, I've felt at peace lately, but I do find my mind spinning in transition, switching out of school-mode and back into reality-mode.  My poetry text books have been put back on the shelf and replaced with a thick stack of adoption books.  To be honest, I'm having a hard time ingesting all of the information in these adoption books, because no matter how much I read, I know there is no preparing us for what's ahead.  Only God knows what's ahead of us, and while I'm attempting to do what I can, I'm trying to rest in Him, which usually just translates to putting one foot in front of the other, talking to Him, listening to Him, reading Him, writing my heart to Him, and staying present in the moment.

What else is there, really?