gloriously unaware

We're not what we were 

Nor are we what we're going to be

So where does that leave us right now

Except gloriously unaware of how

this will turn out.  --Josh Pyke

I've been composing some sort of Kurz Family FAQ blog post in my mind for a while now. There are so many questions to be answered about our future. We field many of these questions on a daily basis...

When are you moving?
Where are you moving?
When are you going to China to get your son?
Will you get him before you move?
What are you going to do with your girls during all of this?
What are you going to do with your current house?
How are you dealing with all of this?

While God has miraculously answered a few of these questions, the answer to many of them remains...

WE DON'T KNOW!

We obviously know we are moving to VA Beach, and we know that Chris's final-out with the Air Force is July 7th. We do not know where in VA Beach we will live, nor do we know if we are going to buy or rent there. We don't yet know when we are going house-hunting in VA Beach or what we are going to do with our girls during that time. We are in the process of finding a realtor right now. Your prayers are coveted!

We have been told that we will travel to get Ren in about four-five months from now, which means we'll be traveling to get him right around the time we'll be moving. We don't know how we are going to move across the country and travel half way around the world to get our boy. We don't know if we'll get to come back here first, or if we'll take him straight to our unknown home in VA Beach. We don't know how we are going to get a house moved and re-settled in the midst of all of this. We don't know how the chaos of all of this will impact our girls and Ren. We don't know all the details that come attached to this, like what are we doing to do with the dog, and will we need some sort of temporary housing for a while, and will I go ahead and move with the girls ahead of Chris? There is no way to know how these intricate details will all weave together.

We do know that my parents will take care of the girls while we're in China, but we don't know whether that will mean they come out here, or if the girls will go to them in NC. We don't know when to tell them to prepare to watch the girls.  We don't have a set two-weeks on our calendar that we can pencil in our travel dates, and we won't know this until about two weeks before we actually travel.

All of these unknowns are heaped upon an ever-amassing pile of unknowns inherent in this adoption process.  In the midst of all of these unknowns, however, we have felt God showing up for us in concrete and miraculous ways.  Because of the bulk of uncertainty in our future, it is astounding to see Him answer some of these questions for us, without much effort on our part.

A couple of weeks ago, Chris decided to go ahead and list our house for rent on a military housing website.  I said, "Really, babe?  This early?  We aren't gonna have trouble renting it, and it's not even going to be available until this summer."  But Chris is a planner, and he wanted to go ahead and do it.

He listed the house on a Saturday night and on Sunday morning, on our way to church, we got a phone call from a non-military family who wanted to come see the house ASAP. They came by as soon as we got home from church and brought their own renter's application and reference list. They were more ahead of the game than we were! It turns out that this family has a 13 yr. old daughter who is best friends with our neighbor's daughter across the street, who sometimes babysits for our girls. It also turns out that this family used to rent a property from these same neighbors, and our neighbors came by that same Sunday to tell us that this family will be fantastic tenants, that they actually made improvements to their house while they lived there. It also turns out that this family wanted to sign a five-year lease and wanted to move in exactly when we needed to move out.  It also turns out that this family wants to eventually buy our home. A lease agreement has already been signed, and the monthly rent will cover our mortgage payment!

The big question of how are we dealing with all of this...well, the answer is simple.  One day at a time. ODAT! One moment at a time. Many times during the day I have to reel my mind back in and say, I trust You, Jesus. There is absolutely no way I can know what's ahead, and the only way I can experience peace and rest is to trust and wait on God, to seek His presence in the moment, and ask Him to help us work out all of these details in a way that only He can. This is where the rubber hits the road of our faith journey. I don't have a lot of answers.

As I write this, I'm reminded of a quote from the movie The Matrix, which Chris and I watched again around Christmas time.  It's one of my favorite movies because of it's vivid metaphors for the Christian faith journey.  We feel like we've swallowed the red pill, and at times, we are wondering what on earth we've done.  Sometimes the blue pill looks really good. Anyhow, the quote, spoken by Morpheus to Neo...

"There's a difference between knowing the path and walking it."

We assume we need to know the path in order to walk it, but we don't.  All we need to do is walk it, one foot in front of the other, trusting the One who has placed us there. When we don't know the path, then we're free to enjoy the provision, love, and mercy of the One who provides for us as we sometimes doubtfully, sometimes gloriously, follow along.