This is what Chris and I are wondering right now.
Last week I continued my feverish pursuit of adoption information. I've talked with several agencies now and Chris and I seem to have narrowed things down to two countries: China and Ethiopia.
There are so many factors to consider that we had never considered before, things like birth order and age differences and referral times. One of the primary obstacles at this point is Lucy's age--something we never considered being an issue until now. Many agencies have restrictions in place that any child you adopt should not disrupt the natural birth order of the children you already have, and that the adopted child must be at least 10 months younger than your youngest child (which makes perfect sense and is beneficial to all children involved). Some agencies have said this could present an issue, as Lucy is still quite young.
However, if we wait to start the process until Lu is a bit older, then the entire process could be disrupted and set back by our move, which is leading us to consider waiting to start this whole thing until Chris is officially done with the AF and we have settled down on the east coast. Everything about waiting seems to make sense--it seems to benefit everyone involved. Life would be more stable and our girls would be older. We would have the move behind us and not have to worry about all the logistics that go along with that in the midst of this adoption process.
It seems like a no-brainer.
So what is the issue?
The issue is this burden we feel, a burden that won't seem to ease up. It seems that most of the significant, life-altering things that Chris and I have done in our lives have defied logic, and this might be another one of those things.
Adoption is no longer an issue of "if" but of "when," and the "when" still seems to be a bit unclear to us. We are praying a lot and trying to listen. The more I try to figure out the timing of all of this the more I feel like my head will explode...which is probably a good indicator that I should stop trying, eh? There are still more questions to be asked and more people to talk to. This is where we are at right now. We would really appreciate everyone else's prayers in this place now as well.
Hey! I was so excited to read your posts on this new blog. Blake & I started praying about adoption while we were dating, and like you, we're considering timing (China requires us to be married for 2 years before starting the process plus we want to have children biologically) and more and more I'm feeling burdened for orphans and wondering why wait. We're looking at Ethiopia strongly too.
ReplyDeleteI'm excited to follow your journey into adoption and look forward to reading more about it. I'll pray for you all as you consider the details of God's calling.
That's funny because every kid we have had has arrived in "the worst year to have another kid," and yet, God's perfect timing prevailed and it was perfect. I try to stay away from thinking too much about timing and such but to lean more toward God and where He is pulling me. Obviously, getting pregnant is MUCH easier (for some) than adopting so that helps, but I say if you guys are feeling it then keep seeking it out unless a door is clearly closed. Will be praying. And so excited for you, whenever it may happen.
ReplyDeleteLib~
ReplyDeleteI was hoping for a blog update :) It IS Christmas week so maybe you have just 1 or 2 other things needing your attention? Anyhow, I updated mine and thought of using it as refresher/intro between you and I. I'm a sick person who feels unknownn unless you know me WELL. Hope your week is merry and bright - praying for you! xoxo Esty