Facebook Fast

I gave up Facebook for Lent. I suppose most of you know this because most of you who read my blog are also friends with me on Facebook.  Anyways, here are a few reflections on this experience so far...

I haven't observed Lent in a long time.  The last time I can remember observing Lent was when I lived in England, around age 12, and I gave up white bread. This might sound a bit silly, but our village, East Horsley, had a tiny grocery story called Cullens, and Cullens made incredible baguette that my mom served with most meals. Sacrificing baguette and eating yucky whole wheat bread instead was a challenge for me. I had recently become a Christian at that point and I don't remember if I understood why I was giving something up or what the significance of it was at the time.  


Now I'm 30 and I think I better understand the significance of it. Lent is a time for followers of Jesus to really connect with Him as we prepare our hearts for His crucifixion and resurrection.  One way we connect with Him is to deny ourselves in some way for forty days, just as Christ fasted in the wilderness for forty days before He started His public ministry. Typically, self-denial exposes an area of neediness in our souls, and neediness is usually what gets us in touch with God. Lent is a time of reflection, thanksgiving, confession, and communication with God.

So, I decided to give up Facebook this year for a few reasons: 

1) I had wondered if I'd become addicted to Facebook and I wanted to break the habit. 

2) I never feel great about myself after spending a lot of time on Facebook. 

3) I waste a lot of time on Facebook and wondered how things in my life might start shifting if I intentionally spent that time with God instead. 

4) I wondered if my social life was actually suffering because of the amount of time I give to social media and not to another human being in the flesh.  I thought I could be more intentional about pursuing other people in more meaningful ways...hand-written letters, phone calls, even email for goodness sake.  And for my friends in town, I thought I could try to invite them into more of my daily life.  

5) Why do I need to advertise my life to that many people anyway?

[Disclaimer: I actually do not think that Facebook is inherently evil.  It serves a purpose and can be a great way to keep up with close friends and family members who live far away. However, for me--a stay-at-home-mom who doesn't get out much and transient military wife who doesn't have many local friends--it can easily escalate from fun, light-hearted social outlet to scary, reclusive, time-sucking addiction.]

So, looking at my calendar, we are about two weeks into Lent.  

The first week was hard.  I was very aware of my mindless compulsion to check Facebook.  I don't have an iPhone anymore--I drowned two of them in a row--the first in apple juice and the second in the toilet--so it's no longer a temptation to check FB on my phone because my new phone doesn't have that capability, thank God.  But at home, my computer sits in grand-central station in the middle of the kitchen/family room, and I used to find myself drifting over and checking Facebook just to tap out of life for a few minutes.  Once I couldn't do that anymore, I started to feel lost and forlorn.  It felt like the sky was falling because I wasn't up to speed on status updates.  Surely, something HUGE was going on simply because I didn't get to know about it.  My mind kept reeling, wondering what was happening, what I was missing out on.  I felt small and pathetic. I missed a few of my friend's birthdays. I felt like life as I'd known it had come to a screeching halt. It felt painful to stay fully present in the reality of my actual existence without regular five-minute intervals of Facebook fantasy land.

Now it's the end of week two and the withdrawal symptoms have seemed to subside. I'm still wondering what I'm missing out on, but overall, I've finally felt a big rush of calm come over me.  It's been confirmed that I will not, in fact, die if I don't check Facebook. I feel like there's a little less clutter in my head.  There's more space inside of me.  I've also been a lot less tempted to compare myself to other people, which is always a big plus.   

I've heard it said that there's a reason we have two ears and only one mouth. There's a lot of noisy talking, a lot of opinions flying around in our culture today, whether it's via Facebook, blogs, TV, Twitter, etc, etc. The past few weeks I've really wanted to silence some of that noise so I can hear Him and hear myself.  I've also tried to be more intentional about listening to Him instead of just talking to Him. There have been some sweet moments when I've recognized His presence, His whisper, and His pursuit, and it's felt awesome.  

This week has also been hard though.  I feel that space inside of me and sometimes it's just felt plain empty.  I want God to fill it.  I also want and need people to fill it--not electronic people--but real, earthly, fleshly, face-to-face people. And I also know that this side of heaven, it will never be completely full. 

When I drown out some of the noisy distractions in my life, it's harder to deny the gnawing neediness inside of me.  I am aware of it and I don't like it.  But it seems to me that the place where this neediness lives is the same cubicle of my heart where desire lives as well, and when I try to dull my gnawing need with boring distractions, I also dull my desire for more life, more connection, and more of Jesus. 

Whatever people might say, I don't believe intimacy can be found or sustained on the internet. I don't want to sound like a hater, because I love blogging and I believe that the world of social media has brought and can bring about a lot of good in the world. However, I also know that this experience has confirmed to me that there is no substitute for true, human, face-to-face, skin-to-skin connection.  There is no alternative for being able to look someone in the eye, to hear the inflection in their voice when they speak, or see their quirky expressions as they tell a story.  God created us to be sensual beings, and computer screen will always fail to engage our senses. I will never truly know others or be known by them through my blog or Facebook or Twitter or whatever.  

There is less risk on the internet...and less reward.

So I wonder...if this is true...then seriously, what are we doing?  How long can the age of social media truly exist before it all implodes? Do you think your social life is actually suffering because of social media?

Also...

Did you give anything up for Lent?  If so, what is it, and how is it impacting you? 

[btw...you want to hear something really lame?  I'm totally tempted to link this post to Facebook.  Linking it from my blog wouldn't technically be checking it, right?  But I'm not gonna do it...I'm not gonna do it!]