Tangible

The truth is the word that gets harder and harder to spell.

--Aqualung

As I was reading through “Crazy Love” a few weeks ago, I came across a part where Francis Chan suggests that we go back and read through the gospels like we’ve never read them before--that we erase any preconceived ideas of who Jesus is, of what the church has taught us about Him, and start fresh.  

So I decided to give it a shot.  I’m in Luke now, and so far, I’ve been struck by who Jesus is and was, and by how disturbing the truth He spoke really is when I stop to think about the implications it has for my life.

One thing that stands out is how Jesus is constantly telling people to follow Him, and telling them that they will have to give up everything to do so.  They will have to give up living life for themselves.  It may cost them their relationships with their family. It may cost them their homes.  It may cost them their lives.  It means they will have to become servants, to become the lowliest people on earth.  It’s all about feeding people, caring for people, serving people, healing people.  

There is no “half-way” in His message. It’s all or nothing.  Either you’re in or you’re out. No middle ground, no gray area. Sometimes His words can even come across as offensive because He wasn't aiming to please people, only God. And most of it boils down to this: if you love Him, you’ll obey Him.

I don’t know about you, but I find this truth kind of hard to swallow, mainly because I’ve lived a decent chunk of my Christian life thinking that I can have one foot in and one foot out.  I can be a Christian and still live for myself.  But it doesn’t work that way.  

Truth is a funny thing.  I’ve often wanted to see truth as this pleasant, neatly wrapped package, that once received and believed, will set me free.  But finding truth is sometimes painful--it requires exposure.  It illuminates the lie that I have control, that I can get what I want out of this life, that life is about finding my own personal satisfaction, and that I can provide for myself.  Truth destroys the house of cards that I build.  Sometimes it keeps me awake at night.  It obliterations my false pretensions.  It exposes my constant need for God.  And when these lies are deconstructed, it is freeing and joyous indeed, but it can also be painful.  Just knowing the truth isn’t enough.  Truth is useless unless I allow it to change me, to change the way I live.  

This past week I was thinking about my own relationship with God, wondering about places in my past where I felt He was distant or absent.  I’ve thought about my faith, and I’ve been thinking about how much my faith in God has just been in my head.  I lived out my faith in my head and my heart, but not necessarily in real, tangible ways.  I’ve gone to Bible studies, read Christian books, learned more and more knowledge about God, philosophized and theologized, but it seemed to stop there.  It didn’t always impact how I lived.  Recently, I’ve been wondering if maybe God hasn’t shown up in tangible ways in my life because I didn’t trust Him or obey Him in tangible ways...I didn’t really need Him in tangible ways.

Last October I came across this blog post.  Reading this was part of a series of events that God used to wake Chris and I up to the call He had for our lives.  Part of this post has been ringing in my head for the past few weeks because it resonates with some of the thoughts I’ve been having lately.  Heather writes,

“Truth seekers.  Are we seeking the truth?  Yes, the truth can be found in thick, old, theology books.  It can be found in the Bible.  But truth is also found in a smelly, dirt-floor orphanage in a third world country.  Finding truth in the Bible and in world-famous theology books is a lot easier to find, I think.  I've been guilty of only seeking after the truth that is convenient to find.  Truth that is fun to argue with all my smart friends over coffee.

The kind of truth I found this week is so troubling, I hardly want to talk about it.  And yet, I believe we are to be people who rejoice in the truth...who look for it and deal with it, who expect goodness and grace to radiate and Jesus to be found and glorified even in the darkest of situations.” 

  

I said in an earlier post that this adoption process is like a microscope, shedding light and magnification upon things that aren't always been visible to the naked eye.  The exposure has been profound, reaching the deepest places in my heart, places that I didn’t even know where inaccessible until recently.  The illumination is terrifying, enlivening, anxiety-provoking, and humbling.

The exposure has me thinking a lot about God, about my relationship with Him, and about the way He’s pursuing more of my heart and asking me to trust Him in ways I never have.  I’ve been thinking a lot about truth and faith, and how the two go hand in hand.  And as I do all of this thinking and pondering, one word I keep coming up with is tangible.

I’m realizing that following Jesus isn’t just about studying His word and praying.  It’s also about listening to what He says and actually doing it.  

I know the truth.  It’s the application part that’s sometimes a struggle, because I’m finding that applying the truth to my life and allowing it to change the way that I live requires me to be intentional.  Opportunities to serve the needy don’t just fall out of the sky...at least, not in America, for the most part.  We have to seek them out, and it almost always requires that we get out of our comfort zone.    

I don’t want to just know the truth in my head.  I want to live it.  I don’t just want to know Him.  I want to KNOW Him.  And I guess I’m learning that the only way to KNOW Him is to put His words into action.  Following Him brings with it a profound knowledge of who He is, how He works, and what He’s all about.  I can’t have true intimacy with Christ unless I actually do what He says.

Last night our growth group had our last session on “Crazy Love.”  Next week we are going to have dinner together and discuss how this study has impacted us, and how we want to live our lives differently as a result of it.  I’m excited to hear what we all share, and how we can work together to make these changes a reality in our lives...to put thought into action.

A few weeks ago, we were visiting our dear friends Mark and Tracy at their new home in Michigan.  Over a dinner discussion one night, Mark showed us this Francis Chan video because it was in-line with a lot of stuff we were talking about.  I’ll post it below.  It’s pretty awesome and really sums up some of what I’ve been pondering.